What to Do When Senior Parents Refuse to Consider Assisted Living

If you’re looking for advice concerning assisted living, chances are you recently had a tough conversation about moving your parents out of their home and into a community. Naturally, they might feel overwhelmed and defensive about potentially moving to assisted living.

Here’s what you can do to calm them down and help them see the advantages that assisted living communities offer.

Recognize Why They Don’t Want to Go

It’s understandable for elderly parents to refuse assisted living at first. After all, no one likes to be reminded that they’re getting older and are in worse health than they used to be.

Empathy and understanding can go a long way during these transitions. Recognize that your parents aren't trying to be difficult — they’re simply struggling with the reality of aging.

Imagine how you would feel if you had to give up your current home to move into an assisted living community. The experience would be difficult no matter how amazing your new community may be.
Acknowledge your loved ones’ worries and try to put yourself in their shoes as you navigate this sensitive subject.

Continue to Highlight the Positives 

Assisted living communities can be the best possible place for many older people to improve their quality of life. As such, it’s best to emphasize the positives when discussing the potential move.

For example, instead of focusing on your parents’ health problems and limitations, reframe the conversation to highlight all the things they can do in assisted living: receive direct assistance, enjoy various amenities, make new friends, and much more.

Avoid Pressuring or Shaming Your Parents

It’s easy to get frustrated when your senior parents resist the idea of entering assisted living. However, voicing your aggravation can often do more harm than good. 

Try not to make your parents feel pressured or rushed as they make their decision. They won’t respond well if they feel they’re being forced to do something they don’t want to do.

Never bring up your loved ones’ medical problems in an attempt to persuade them to move. Rather than changing their minds, it will likely just make them feel ashamed and may even cause them to oppose the idea more adamantly.

Give Them Plenty of Control 

You might think that the purpose of assisted living is to look after your senior parents as though they were completely helpless, but this isn’t true. Assisted living facilities are designed to help seniors retain their autonomy while getting the help they need. 

You should do the same as you prepare them to enter assisted living. Let them make choices and have some say over how things are done. Aside from non-negotiable arrangements and safety concerns, your parents should be able to make most of their own decisions during every part of the process.

Help Your Parents with a Move to Assisted Living

Your parents deserve the highest quality care available, and assisted living can give it to them. With time, patience, and grace, they may even come to view the transition as a good thing.